Tuesday, February 28, 2006

♥ post-party syndrome

Bear with me, folks. I got exhausted with all the preparations for the party last weekend. I know many of you have been anxiously waiting for some kwento and pics about the party. Hay... sorry to say that until now, I haven't organized the pics yet. I had a terrible headache after the Sunday party (actually, I didn't feel good when I woke up that Sunday, but had to be strong; it's my son's big day, eh!). The party ended a little early than I expected. I should be happy to have more time cleaning up all the mess, but my headache was making me weak that I had to rest leaving the "dirty works" half-finished. There is still tomorrow, anyway.

"Tomorrow" came, and I was still feeling weak. Despite this, I tried to play with my little boy the whole day he's awake. He took a nap only in the afternoon, and that was my only time to finish all the chores left undone.

Today was an equally busy day for us. We went to the doctor for Luke's follow up consultation. Well, his rash condition is I think 10% better now. Hope to get rid all of those itchy red creatures in his body sooooooon.

So hold on there, my dear friends. Maybe in the next few days, I'll be able to gather my senses and organize my thoughts again, and then probably make a more decent post -- and with sense (unlike this one).

Promise. ;)


Sunday, February 26, 2006

I am Luke's mom

On this day a year ago, at 9:26 in the morning (Philippine time), I gave birth to a 3240-gram cute little boy after an about 8 hours of labor. The very moment I saw him with my own eyes, when the doctor flopped him on top of my tummy, I know that my life has changed. I'm glad my life has changed. I'm thankful my life has changed.

From that moment, I became a mother -- a dignified and perpetual role I have always been dreaming of. With Luke, that dream was realised. My journey to motherhood was almost cut short before, but with the magical hands of our Creator, everything went on smoothly after a worrisome threat to my pregnancy. My unending gratitude to the Almighty who made all things possible, even to the most impossible in man's eyes.

There is a little glitch to my motherhood though. As with other first times in life, I was not sure if I could, or would, be a good mother to him. I hope I am. I try to be a good mom. I believe that God will not give me this role if I can't be a good mom. You see, things don't come so easy and fast, and I have to learn some of these the not-so-easy way. Each day is a challenge to take and win over. Sometimes, I win, at other times, I get tired. In between these times, my patience bag gets drained, but right away refilled when my son clings on to me for love and embrace. Oh, the joys and pains of being a mother. I will not trade this for anything. It's an enchanting experience not all woman in this world will have.

I know there will be more surprises as my active toddler continues to explore life. One thing is sure. Our mom and son tandem is and will always be a celebration of God's miraculous work in my life. I am proud to have my firstborn. And I am proud that I am his mom.


Friday, February 24, 2006


Only two nights to go, and it's my son's birthday. But the Big Day starts tomorrow, and will end on Sunday. And it's only I, me and myself to do all the preparations. Whew!!! I never imagined this would be a tough job eh.

I slept at 4am this morning, and woke up 8am. I could be thankful if I had that precious 4 hours straight. But, it wasn't, unlucky me (sigh). I had a shallow sleep, I would say, for I had to check on Luke from time to time (he scratches his face everytime he moves).

So, here I am, half-awake, yawning every now and then, moving lazily, blogging on the side while taking care of my little boy. And it's so cold today huh! A very inviting atmosphere to curl up on the fleece blanket, and dream of the big party. ;)

So many things to do with so little time. Oh, how I wish this day would be longer by 24 hours so I'd be able to finish everything, and get a good sleep.

Till then! Dozing off ...


Monday, February 20, 2006

B-day wish for my son

Luke's turning ONE this coming Sunday. As he ventures towards his toddlerhood, many things will definitely change. He'll leave baby-like things behind as he starts to show and imbibe qualities of a learning-to-be-independent little boy. He'll be wearing new and different behavioral clothings, which will largely influence how good man he will be like in the future.

One of the many things I hope he'll wear off as he starts his toddler journey is his itchy-bitsy rashes. He was only about 3 months old when these unsightly tiny creatures popped up on his face, and got worse (spread to his whole body) when we arrived in Tokyo. These tiny red bums keep on coming back and continuously irritating him, for reasons uncertain till now. Maybe he's allergic to some foods, maybe to house mites and dust. Maybe the general environment here. For fear that his rashes might get worse, we tried to avoid giving him those widely-known allergens. Sad to say, these allergens are those rich in much needed nutrients for his proper and fast growth. And since he is limited to what he can eat, aside from the fact that he is so picky with foods that he eats, he hasn't gained much weight since we came back here last month. No need to worry at this time, says his pedia, coz he's still within the normal weight range. Just the other night, I was scanning through his earlier pics, and I noticed that he changed a lot, physically. He got taller but a bit slimmer now. His double chin is nowhere to be found now. And, sad to say, his rashes grew bigger too, appearing in almost all large parts of his body (sigh).

That's my birthday wish for my firstborn -- to permanently get rid of those itchy, irritatingly cumbersome rashes on his face and body.


Thursday, February 16, 2006


I know, I know. It seems too late to talk about feb 14 at this time. but please... allow me to share with you what i had on that day.

It wasn't that big or grand or fabulous, but it was a very thoughtful surprise from my hubby to give me two red tulips when he arrived home that night. I felt good with that cause I didn't expect it. I was already contented to let that day pass just like any regular day.

Thanks, tart.

Anyway, hope you all had a love-ly feb 14!


Tuesday, February 14, 2006


There are a gazillion ways to define LOVE. I have a few favorites, and I want to share with you two of these on this very lovely day.


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Cor. 13:4-5 New Testament of the Holy Bible)


For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
(John 3:16 New Testament of the Holy Bible)

happy valentine's day!!!


Monday, February 13, 2006

A friend in Him

In one of my bloghoppings, I came across this blog containing poems written by his mom. It struck me deep, and I want to share it with you.

True Friend
Alice M. Scott (August 13, 1988)

Though you search the whole world over,
Truer friend you’ll never find
Than the one whose name is Jesus,
Who is loving, who is kind.

He will never ever leave you
Or forsake you, as He said.
He will wash you white as snow
Though your sins are scarlet, red.

He will shelter and protect you
From the pain of Satan’s dart.
He will give you strength and courage
When he comes into your heart.

What you need to do is trust Him.
When he knocks, let Him come in.
By His death for you He offers
Full forgiveness for your sin.

With your eyes you will not see Him
While on earth you daily roam,
But you’ll go one day to heaven
And you'll see Him there, at Home.

I truly find solace with the thought that we have Someone who loves us so much despite our sinful behaviors, always there by our side, the truest among our true friends, gave up His own life for our sake. Most of all, the assurance that one day, we will be with Him eternally.

What a perfect example of love.


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Job h[a]unting

I've always thought that there are a myriad of jobs here in Japan. And yes, I believe it's true. Even for gaijins from all over the world. Yet, how come I haven't had a job since I came back here?

When I first came here in Tokyo, I landed in a good job right away. So fast as if the job had been waiting for my arrival. I did not even have a time to leisurely explore this new place before I got extremely busy with my 5-day-per-week teaching job. Busy yet enjoying it.

Now that I am back, I also intend to go back to the English language teaching limelight. But things seem to be a little different now. Prospective students remain to be just prospects. Language schools demand so many things from an interested applicant, things that mostly I don't possess right now. Other kinds of jobs, even the mundane ones, seem to be on ice.

I go to Hello Work (a government-run employment office) twice a month to search for possible jobs. This office maintains a database of companies with vacancies, and endorse you if you are interested to apply in those. Every time I go there, luck doesn't go along with me. And my bye-bye phrase is usually "Maybe I'll have luck next time." Yeah, maybe.

Hate to admit it but the problem lies with me. First, my Japanese language ability is very poor. So poor that I can't even complete a sentence! Second, my availability is only limited to weekends only, for reasons I'm sure most of you are aware of. Third, I am picky with the kind of job I want to have. I am scared to take baby sitting or house cleaning jobs. I also shun from simpler jobs like washing dishes in restos. I like jobs that require lots of brain exercises and indulging in my craft, like those in language schools, and publishing house. Given these limitations, it is quite difficult to find an employer who is willing to take me in. Though there are some job offers, but the pay is not so enticing, and workplace is quite far from my place. Really so picky, eh. I have all the rights to choose which jobs I want, anyway.

Well, my job hunting will continue to haunt me, till I get the right one for me ... in due time.


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The last 20 minutes

My son is now asleep. In my arms. Allowing me to compose this post with only one hand. He finally fell asleep after a tiring wrestling duo. Yes, that's right. I wrestled with my son, only to get him to sleep.

He should have been sleeping a few hours ago. Warned by his yawning, I danced him to sleep humming his favorite lullaby. But he was still fully up and wanted to play. So, I let him play with his toys scattered around the room, crawling here and there, and messing with the keyboard and mouse. After 40 minutes or so, I again soothed him to sleep, but still failed. Later, I figured that giving him milk will draw him to sleep. I patted him while drinking his milk, but after finishing only about 3/4 of it, he got up and there he went playing again. He yawned and yawned while playing. Tried to carry him again but he just resisted my swaying. Then he started rubbing his eyes, guess it was time to really put him to sleep. I tried the sway-and-hum-lullaby method again but he was irritated and continuously scratched his face. Tried my best to refrain him from doing so but holding him with a stronger grip might hurt him. So, I switched ways of holding him thinking that he would stop from further hurting his skin. But I think his desire to scratch himself was stronger than my will to restrain him, as I my patience was already getting short. Crying, eyes half closed, and scratching still, I lay him on the bed and tried to calm him down. But he cried further, scratched harder, rubbed his arms against the pillow. I picked him up again, but it didn't do any good. Put him down again, and patted while humming, and frantically giving him milk or pacifier, which he both resisted. On the verge of losing my temper, I got up and watched him ruin his face, neck and head. At this time, his face was already very red from scratching and crying. I went to the dining area, and waited what he would do after leaving him alone. After a few minutes, still crying hard, he got up, crawled down the bed, onto the floor, towards me. When he was near me, he motioned his hand asking for my embrace. What a mother like me would do but give him the embrace he needed. So, I picked him up, and he stopped crying, but sobbing. He really wanted to sleep but the itch was irritating him badly. I held his hand so as not to rub his arms against my shirt. I then thought of distracting him from that annoying itch by giving him a toy. Luckily, he held the toy and then lean his head on my shoulder. He fell asleep shortly after that, sobbing a little till faded, pacifier on his mouth and the rattle toy in his hand. Ahh, the agony was finally over.

All these happened for about 20 minutes or so. And this wrestling episode usually happens when he sleeps or wakes up at the WRONG TIME. Oh, how I wish it will always be right for his sleeping and waking times. I still need to find the right cue for this right one. Sometimes, getting him to sleep is just as easy as giving him the bottle and finishes it just in time to shut his eyes off and on the dreamland. Or, in a few cases, dance-and-pat method works better. I have yet to decifer which method is best for which situation.

Wish me luck!


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

My true color

I took this silly test from WebTickle.com, and it says that my color is orange.

O-orange?!? Of all the colors in the world, why orange? It could have given me a little happiness if it were peach, red or brown.

But, on the second thought, the test did not say that orange is (or should be) my favorite color. It says that orange best describes my PERSONALITY. And here’s how the test describes me as an orange person:

You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.

Wow! It took me a while to read that over and over again. In my entire life, no one (or nothing) has ever described me as such. Is this true and correct? Well, I’ll give those people who know me better a chance to speak up, either affirm (I hope) or deny (no, please!) this statement.

Whatever it is, at least this test gives me something to ponder [read: brag about]. Now, I am no longer furious about orange. In fact, I have started to like it.


Monday, February 06, 2006

My kid's party idea

Guess it's hard to believe it's been a year! Well, almost. A few more days to count, and he's officially ONE YEAR OLD.

I'm talking about my firstborn, and so much has changed. Really. His enthralling and mystifying infant look at day one is now transformed into one who is so full of personality. Along with his fast development is his growing independence as he learns to crawl, sit, walk and stand (holding on to something) ... and talk. His babbling is now -- somehow -- making sense (or should I say, we, his parents, are the ones making sense). He also has learned to show emotions such as getting mad when you take something he likes. His all-time favorite is to cling onto my pajama and waggle, cry, beg till I pick him up. He wants to be where I am and do what I am doing. If I'm doing something on the computer, he'll take the keyboard and mouse. If I'm washing the dishes, he wants me to hold him with my one hand while I do the dishes with the other. Same goes when I'm cooking. He'd even attempt to turn on/off the stove ... and oh, pull the plug! Not to mention the mess in all parts of the house as he bangs, throws, clutters everything his tiny-yet-mighty hands could reach.

So, what's gonna be like on his first birthday bash? Well, I actually haven't figured out the details yet. Vaguely, I have pictured it in my mind that we're gonna have some fun and enjoyment with some friends as we nibble on some simple Pinoy dishes. And it'll be here in our super tiny house, which I hope to accommodate less than 20 guests (that's including kids, huh!).

Hey, wait! It just dawned on me that if I'm really throwing a party for my baby, then I should be moving fast ... really act fast. So, I'm off for now, coz I have to start doing the invitations.