Wednesday, November 02, 2005

What is a friend?

This question has been bugging and boggling my mind for many days now. Anyone care to give me a reliable true-blue definition of this oftenly misused, overused and/or abused English term? (Why, in the first place, do I have to emphasize that it's an Eigo? ... no reason, actually)

I have read/known many good and heart-melting definitions of a friend, but I wonder if those descriptions were really true. Do the authors/writers of those have actually experienced a kind of friend they defined as such, or just popped out of their imagination? Classic examples are:

A friend in need is a friend in deed (or indeed?)

A friend is someone who shares your ups and downs, always there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear ... and so many more body parts to that effect

A friend loves at all times(Prov. 17:17)

In my entire life, I guess I have proved these definitions to be more or less true in more ways than one, in some way or another. (anung klaseng sentens to?, gets nyo?)

So, what am i getting at here? Nothing much, I just miss my friends :)

Wherst art thou, ye all my dear friends?
Yah, I know, you're just there ... reading my blogs! Leave a note, will ya?


  • At 11/09/2005 02:43:00 PM, Blogger TM tots said…

    "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares" ~Henri Nouwen

    When I came across this line I just thought of sharing it with you. Sometimes, there are things that are better left to books because they will never allow us to experience the real thing. It is only when we allow ourselves the chance to interact and deal with the different complexities involved that we are given a chance to better appreciate the blessings given to us in the form of the friends we have.

    When you said misused, I couldn't help but agree with you... a lot of people go around claiming that a certain someone is his/her friend or that he or she is a friend to someone. Before one would start the lengthy journey of finding that right person to be called a friend, i guess one should stop and listen to oneself first. It is imperative that we ask ourselves if we can be that perfect friend for someone. What can we give in order for us to obtain what we seek.

    Sometimes just when we start uttering gibberish sounds and pointing a finger at someone saying that person hasn't been a friend to me all this time, will it not be proper if we ask ourselves first if we've been the kind of friend we have envisioned for ourselves? Then we pause and think and feel then we can act on whatever it is one feels is necessary to remedy certain things.

    Distance had taught me a lot about how to view friendships. There are people claiming to be my friends but I have a question I will never find answers to... "Do I have these friends of mine because I need them or because I want them to be the constant in my life?" I may never be able to see the end of things but I said what the heck, I will just follow where my feet will lead me and I strive to do something worthwhile. I am not a perfect person but I try a little each day to make a difference in the lives of the people I meet in this life.

    "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair." ~Samuel Johnson

    I have a lot of repairing to do. I just hope people at the other end of the rope will see the need for repairs too.

    Don't fret too much Ate, about definitions... I'm sure you have and will have people around you who strives to be the kind of friend you want them to be. Just stop and pause to appreciate what they have to offer.

  • At 11/09/2005 03:11:00 PM, Blogger ning said…

    well said TM. tenks 4 sharing ur ideas with me, and to the rest of my blog readers.

    being in a foreign land is sometimes boring when you dont have so much friends to help you ease out on how things are done here, or simply just to talk to. esp. in a multicultural society where minding your own biznis is the name of the game.

    anyway, i know i have lots of friends. they may be out of reach for now, but i know deep inside, they miss me too. are you one of them? :)


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